In 2025-26, online relationships remain as socially complex in India as they were when this story first emerged, proving some narratives never lose relevance.

Experiments & Repercussions Of Using “Hot Or Not”

Recently, I came across an Instagram post, which asked followers about their first online relationship. It made me reminisce a not so revered recollection of my teenage years. I had downloaded an app called “hot or not”! Yes, believe me, it was a thing. Perhaps still is.

In addition, yes, my adolescence was so miserably boring that the idea of entertainment became whiling away time on an app where people objectify you. Long story short, I met a guy and started talking to him and eventually ended up in a relationship.

In the beginning, neither of us were serious about this so-called relationship. Let’s be real here. What could this “hot or not” relationship really amount to? Was I looking for meaningless sex or a fulfilled healthy relationship? It could not have been meaningless sex because he was from a different state and the distance mostly allowed it to be a platonic relationship. Maybe the idea of receiving comforting attention without any particular commitment was too appealing.

This relationship was a secret and I never really spoke about it to my friends, except my best friend. How could I? Dating in its entirety is frown upon by our society; let alone finding a person online and forging a relationship with him.

He flew down to the city for my birthday and I recall being positively shocked. Why would someone I barely know come all the way for me? That was the only instance I met him in person.

And Because It Happened Via An Application…

Eventually, things got to a point where we would have conversations about marriage.

I hate to admit it, but the idea of spending the rest of my life with him was reassuring and convenient. But, for there is always a but, the fear of admitting that I met my partner on an app kept me emotionally distant from this relationship.

How do I justify this fear? Is this fear a masked feeling of desperation to not be labelled as a social pariah?

In retrospect, I find this experience quite amusing, but when we really think about it, how much are we letting the phrase “log kya kahenge” affect our choices? What if, we ignore this dreaded phrase and make choices of our own?

Having said that, in recent years we have witnessed people who have chosen to adopt a lifestyle that does not necessarily agree with society. I think we have transitioned from the obsolete, stringent school of thought to a much broader and tolerable one. With the onset of a subversive group of people in our society, who began to disagree with the existing norms, there came a disguised revolution. A revolution where disagreeing to the norms and exploring new ones became socially acceptable.

Despite this transformation, why do we still cling to the idea that if we choose to forego the conventional norms, we might end up as outcasts?

The experience I had was more of a mildly distressed epiphany as opposed to a rude awakening. In the future, should I have to choose between my mind/heart and “log kya kahenge”-my response would be “log toh kahenge, logo ka kaam hai kehna.”

FYI, for those who are wondering what happened to my “hot or not” person. Yes, we still talk and no, we are not romantically involved!

Frequently Asked Questions

What is the ‘Hot or Not’ app and when was it popular?

‘Hot or Not’ was a social app from the early 2000s where users rated attractiveness of photos. It became a gateway for online interactions and relationships among teenagers, particularly popular during the 2000s and 2010s before being overshadowed by modern dating apps.

How does Indian society view online relationships and dating?

Traditional Indian culture often views dating negatively, with ‘Log Kya Kahenge’ (what will people say) being a common deterrent. Online relationships face even greater stigma due to perceived anonymity, distance concerns, and departure from conventional matchmaking traditions.

Can long-distance relationships formed online actually work?

Yes, as the article demonstrates when the author’s online acquaintance traveled to meet her. Long-distance relationships require genuine emotional investment, communication, and willingness to bridge geographical gaps—something not always present initially in casual app-based connections.

Why do people keep online relationships secret in India?

Social stigma around dating and meeting strangers online forces individuals to hide relationships from family and friends. Fear of judgment, traditional expectations, and conservative social norms drive secrecy, even among close circles like best friends.

What does ‘Log Kya Kahenge’ mean in Indian culture?

‘Log Kya Kahenge’ literally translates to ‘what will people say’—a phrase that encapsulates the collective anxiety about societal judgment. It represents the pressure to conform to social expectations over personal desires in Indian households and relationships.