Guys We Have Been Avoiding The “Period Talk” For Long, Let’s Change That
Let’s talk. Yes, it’s an old-fashioned guy-to-guy talk. It’s a safe space and nobody is going to attack you for being right or wrong. I just want to have a heart to heart conversation with you. Is that okay? Fine, let’s start. You see, for a very long period of time in my life, I have been kind of a tool and I am guessing you have been too.
But, hey that’s fine because we stem from a society that keeps the important lessons clogged away so far in our guts that it’s okay that no one told you this. I am letting you know and now that you know, I am pretty sure, you will work on it.
What’s On Your Mind?
You know, as a heterosexual guy, when we get into a relationship we try to figure out what the other person wants; we try to understand our partners. We don’t eat paydirt on the first day, but we eventually get there. I mean there is no foolproof method written in the book for understanding, but it’s okay because you love her and she makes you the happiest guy in the world. This is all good till here, but there is this part that we keep on messing up with; the part where we don’t comprehend what she goes through every month. Yes, I am talking about THE period.
Umm, Is There A Need To Talk About This?
Wait? What! Where did the period come into the relationship? Well, it was always there and chances are that you, just like me, were blind to it because it simply didn’t come to the forefront. We watched our mothers bring something in a black plastic once a month and that was it. It was all hush and nobody talked about it. When we were growing up in co-ed schools and playing with our friends, we didn’t question when some girl took a sudden break in the middle of the class or didn’t show up to play one day in a month. It was all fine; it was something that you didn’t need to know. It was “girl stuff.” Trust me this is where we went wrong -- as important as it was for the parents to talk to their daughters about their period, it was equally important for them to talk to us about it as well. As important as it was for them to know that it was a natural process, we needed to know about it too, instead of brushing it aside as a taboo.
It was so important because as we grew up we had some friends who went through this every month. It was important because some of our colleagues go through this. It was important because when we got into a relationship, we got to see that it is quite a nasty bit of hell for some of them. But, they put up a brave face and we forget to see it, that too every month. Listen, in a relationship when one faces something it affects both of them and one doesn’t need to face it alone. If you love her, you should know about it.
Small But Important Steps
I want to give you some tips here and please don’t say that “things are working fine, why mess with it?” That’s just lame. When you are in a relationship, know her cycles. If you can’t guess it, just ask her. I know she might be flummoxed a little, but in the long run, things will be fine.
If you are staying together get her pads. Another pro tip here, which I learned while shopping for my girlfriend -- all sizes don’t fit one; no matter what the commercials say. So once again, ask her which one she needs and insist that the stupid pharmaceutical guys don’t wrap it in a black plastic. It is not something you need to hide, and the same goes for the condoms also. These unwritten rules need to be written off and if we do our part, maybe our daughters and sons won’t fall prey to it. There’s always hope, right? Okay, coming back to the tips -- get a hot water bottle. These things are life-savers for them if they have a problematic period. I know it looks really outdated and there must be some way or the other but till we figure what that is, use this.
If you are not staying with her, ask her if she’s doing okay. Do small things and trust me that will go a long way. If you are not clandestine lovers, meet somewhere close to her house, avoid coffee; a liberal dose of good food would do wonders. Also, if you can, drop her at her place. Little things man, no biggies!
For Extra Brownie Points
Also while you are at it, it’d be great if you could ask if she has any form of health disorders that stem from Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS). It’s a hormonal problem among women and it’s quite common. Therefore, chances are you will come across someone in your life of the better gender that has it. Some of the common problems that are associated with it are weight gain, pelvic pain, mood swings, acne and sleeping problems. All of these add up to create quite a see-sawing effect on the female body and things tend to get worse while they are on their period. Don’t end up panicking. If her answer is positive, it can be handled via medication, but things tend to get out of hand sometimes. Tag along with her when she goes for a medical check-up if she is comfortable with it. Remember that is “if she is comfortable.”
General Rule Of Thumb
Please, whatever you do, don’t be squeamish. Don’t be SQUEAMISH, if you ever come across a bloodied pad or you guys are making out or somehow things get started in front of you. They are in for three days, sometimes five days, of emotional see-saw coupled with body pain and backache; there’s no need of drama from your side.
Keep an eye out, watch a documentary, talk to a gynaecologist, talk to a female friend with whom you are close and be ready for some mood swings. She doesn’t mean it and she’s in a lot of pain, so don’t act like an irrational fool, at least at this time of the month.